Thinking and being aware of our own thoughts are skills that make us human. Thinking is an active process. It encompasses events that range from daydreaming to problem solving. It is a kind of ongoing, internal dialogue that accompanies actions like performing a task, observing a scene or expressing an opinion.

What does "teaching thinking in school" mean?

The "teaching thinking" movement goes beyond the learning of facts. It encourages students to ask questions of the information and ideas presented in class. It helps students learn how to identify unstated assumptions, to form and defend opinions, to see relationships between events and ideas.

There are many approaches to teaching thinking. Some educators teach students to use a set of identifiable skills — such as discriminating between relevant and irrelevant points in a particular argument, or generating questions from written material. Others try to involve students in classroom experiences that will help them think more actively — such as a classroom debate or a mock court case.

What are some examples of thinking skills instruction?

• In an American history class, students might use a simulation exercise to understand the points of view of the colonists and the British at the time of the Revolution. That is, after studying background information, students would play roles of persons on both sides of the conflict, debating the issues as they reflect their imagined families, work and community.

• In a mathematics class, students might work together in pairs. While one student acts as problem solver, talking aloud his or her thinking on how to solve a problem, the other student is an active listener, asking questions and helping the problem solver think through the process. Later, these students would exchange roles.

• In a first grade classroom, the teacher might engage students in a discussion of the reliability of evidence after reading them the story of Chicken Little. The teacher might lead this discussion by asking students whether the other animals should have trusted Chicken Little, and how they could have determined the truth or falsity of her story.

• After viewing a film on the Lewis and Clark expedition, a fifth grade teacher might ask students to work in pairs, listing the steps involved in planning and carrying out the expedition.

• Children of all ages can do team research. For example, elementary school children might investigate the effects of the gold rush on westward expansion, while secondary students might study the traffic flow in a major intersection of their community.

• Thinking skills can even be taught in performance courses, such as band or woodworking. In band, students might be asked to think about how a piece would sound if the tempo or volume were changed. They might mark their scores with different tempos and volumes, then play the re-marked scores to hear the resulting differences in the music. Woodworking can be seen as a series of problems requiring solution. For example, instead of constructing a table by following a preset model, students might be encouraged to draw several ways of making a table (such as differing arrangements of legs or other supports, various tabletop shapes), and experiment with each design on small models, determining which are the most stable, pleasing to the student and so on.

How can students' thinking skills Be evaluated?

First, it's important to say that evaluating thinking skills is not the same as evaluating the number of words students spell correctly — students are not graded on how well they do, and there is generally no "right" answer. The teacher evaluates students' thinking skills to see where they are at a given time, and to see where they may need extra work.

Students' thinking skills might be evaluated orally or with a paper-and-pencil test. For example, a teacher might be interested in evaluating students' skills in analysis — a breaking-down process to find out how parts fit together to make a whole. Students might be asked to list the steps involved in solving a particular problem, or to break down a task (such as making a bed) into its component parts.

How can parents help their children think more actively?

As a parent you can:

• Encourage your children to ask questions about the world around them.

• When reading to or with young children, ask them to imagine what will happen next in the story.

• Actively listen to your children's conversation, responding seriously and non-judgmentally to the questions they raise.

• When your children express feelings, ask why they feel that way.

• Suggest that your children find facts to support their opinions, and then encourage them to locate information relevant to their opinions.

• Use entertainment — a TV program or a movie — as the basis of family discussions.

• Use daily activities as occasions for learning. For example, instead of sending a child to the store with a simple list of items to purchase, talk with the child first about how much each item might cost, how much all the items might cost, how much all the items might add up to, and estimate how much change she should receive.

• Reward your children for inquisitive and/or creative activity that is productive.

• Ask your children what questions their teachers are raising in class. For example, a history class might be "asking" how American westward expansion began.

Remember, if your children are active participants in a home where there is talk about the why and the how of things, they are more likely to be active thinkers both in and out of school.

As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty.

So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the midnight oil." But with our sermonettes, cajoling, and in some instances, begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and resent our roles as minister-wardens in the service of modern education.

What Can Parents Do?

There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

• Actively demonstrate your value for learning. The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still a learner?" Do you read books, go to the library, watch educational TV programs, write letters, or attend local school functions? Do you discuss ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries? Do you read to your children, play educational games like Monopoly and chess with them, or facilitate their involvement in creative projects?

  Our modeling is a powerful incentive to our children's learning. If they see us doing it, then they know it's worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don't see us enjoying learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of "not practicing what we preach."

• Show a non-threatening interest in your child's learning. This means that you care and want to know what your child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this manner you might ask about what he is learning in school or indicate your desire to see papers and projects he is creating.

  The dinner table is an excellent setting for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work. Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of this nature — or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to homelife.

• Consistently offer your child a sincere expectancy that she can learn effectively. In order to learn, children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as an effective learner.

  By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.

• Get involved in your child's school. At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious fallacy. At least two other erroneous beliefs continue to misguide us, however — one, that students don't learn because their teachers are not effective; the other, that students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't prepare them to learn. Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation.

  It is far more likely that the student, the teacher and the parent all play significant roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and, indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.

Doing laundry can be more than just a chore. It can also be a time when you teach your child science skills.

Here are some of the skills you can teach while you are sorting and folding.

Observing

Scientists notice tiny details. Ask your child questions like, "Does this sock feel different from that one? Why could that be?"

Classifying

Scientists put things in groups, based on their characteristics. You can help your child classify as you sort the laundry.

For example, you could sort clothes by color. You could sort them by family member. Or you could challenge your child to come up with a new way to sort the clothes.

Quantifying

Ask questions like these, "Who has the shortest feet in the family? By how much?" "How many T-shirts did you have in this load of wash?"

Halloween Resources

• Ben & Jerry's Halloween
• Halloween Safety
• K-12 Unit on Bats
• Halloween treats, party and costume ideas
• Crafts projects for pre-K-5
• Pumkpin Farm: Pumkin Carving templates; virtual carving

Halloween Safety Reminders

Know where your children will be on Halloween

The best time to trick-or-treat is early evening. Preschool through third grade youngsters should be accompanied by an adult or responsible teenager. Older children should go with friends. Parents can help plan a route map for trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. And remind them only to visit homes or apartments where the lights are on.

Set time limits with your children

How about tucking an alarm clock in the bag of older trick or treaters to signal when it's time to come home?

Review pedestrian rules

Cross streets at corners; watch for traffic in all directions; stick to sidewalks if possible; don't walk between cars or cut through vacant lots. Give kids a flashlight with fresh batteries.

Emphasize that all goodies need to be brought home for inspection before eating

Any doubt about something in the bag? Throw it out! Allow your child to eat only those treats that come in original, unopened wrappers. To avoid squabbles, combine all the food into one bag or bowl!

Costumes should be white or light

Decorate with reflective tape so motorists can easily see small ghosts and goblins.

Make-up or grease paint is better than a mask

Most make-up kits are non-toxic. Use liberal amounts of cold cream to remove.
If your child does wear a mask, enlarge the eyeholes until he/she can see clearly.

Try on costumes before Halloween

Ask your child to walk around the house a bit. That way you can fix anything that might cause a fall or is constrictive.  If the weather turns very cold, will it fit over a sweater or sweatshirt?

Strange costumes may frighten house pets

Instruct children to stay clear of cats and dogs while in costume. A strange costume can make even the tamest dog aggressive.

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change.

Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done. You can do it!

Positive steps toward better discipline

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities. Don't take their good behavior for granted. Remember to reward them once in a while. These rewards may take the form of extra time reading to your child, time spent in an activity chosen by your child, or even something as simple as a hug.

Listening to your children, hugging them, smiling or talking with them are all rewards, the kind that you can give hundreds of times every day. One of the most powerful rewards for children is the love, interest and attention they receive from their mother and father.

Let your children know exactly what you expect of them — set limits. Youngsters, who would be the last to admit it, find too much freedom frightening. Set limits for the actions that your children are not ready to control themselves. Children need to know exactly what parents expect of them and also how parents will react to their behavior.

It is important to state your requests clearly. For example, it is much easier for the child to follow the direction, "Please put your glass in the center of the table" than "Be careful with your milk. It's so close to the edge of the table it will fall off." Set rules that you think are important and be firm in seeing that your children follow them. Above all, do not make rules you have no intention of enforcing.

Encourage responsible decision making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves. If your child approaches you with a request you feel you should deny, try saying, "What would you say if you were in my place? What should I say? What would be my reason?" You'll find that if you treat children as responsible individuals, their level of responsibility increases rapidly.

Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators. While you are telling your children why you think they should not steal, cheat or be cruel to others, be sure they cannot cite some example of your behavior that contradicts these values. Be honest yourself — hypocrisy shows.

Encourage your children to respect proper authority. At home, in school and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority. It is a simple fact that some things cannot or will not be changed. Certain rules must be followed. Help your children understand that it is harmful to them, as well as to everyone else, to have constant arguments, fights and problems with peers and adults. Let your child see how his or her misbehavior affects other people.

Have fun with your children. Young people need to interact with adults. Try choosing a regular time each week to do things as a family. Engaging in sports, playing games, sharing hobbies, visiting museums are some of the many activities that parents and children can enjoy together. In addition, initiate your children to join you in some activities in which they may not usually be asked to participate. Also encourage your children to ask questions and to express their own points of view.

What about punishment?

Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly.

Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving.

Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clearcut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment.

Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically.

Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method:

• both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time
• no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable.

Don't give up

Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable — follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently.

If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor or rabbi, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies.

Remember, changing or establishing parental discipline is a long, slow, often tedious, process. The important thing is to form a clear objective, then take a few steps at a time in that direction.

Do you know what PAW means? How about LUWAMH? It’s hard to keep an eye on your kids online when you don’t speak the same language.

Teenangels.org, a division of WiredSafety.org, offers a downloadable chat lingo translator and an updated list of common acronyms used in instant messaging and text messaging. Netlingo.com is another source for the shorthand and acronyms used in online communication.

As a parent, you're concerned about your child's progress in school. Does your daughter get along well with her peers and teachers? Is your son struggling with math? What exactly do grades measure?

One way to find out is a conference with your child's teacher.

Typically held two or three times a year, parent/teacher conferences allow both parties to share their observation about a student's school work.

Like anything else, the more effort you put into the conference, the more you'll get out of it.

Here are some suggestions from Association members:

Before the conference . . .

• Ask your child for his/her opinion on how school is going. Compare his/her views with the teacher's evaluation during the conferences. Any misperceptions your child has could lead to significant surprises when report cards arrive.
• Write down your questions in advance to keep the conference on track and professional.
• If possible, both parents should attend. Having both present builds a stronger partnership, and better communication between home and school. If one parent can't attend, be sure the other one writes down any concerns to raise during the conference.
• Communicate any goals and expectations you have for your child with the teacher.
• If the teacher says something you don't understand, ask. Don't be embarrassed if you don't understand education terminology.
• Ask questions about your child's academic work and social skills. These areas are important. From there, ask about specifics on curriculum, grading, discipline policies and procedures, homework expectations and special projects.
• Find out what you as a parent can do at home to help your child do well at school. Before you leave, summarize the plans you and the teacher made to help your child. This eliminates the chance of misunderstanding.
• Be prepared to talk about your child as a whole person, including his or her interests, activities and strengths outside school. You might also bring up significant family situations that could affect your child's school performance.
• Remember to be on time, and recognize the time limitations at conferences. If you need more time, arrange for it at a later date.
• Be positive. Approach the conference with a cooperative attitude.
• If you have questions and concerns after the conference, contact the teacher. Make sure you discuss the conference with your child so he or she knows what to expect.
• Stay informed regarding your child's school work, and talk with your child about it. Remember, keep in touch with the teacher. If you need to meet with the teacher before the next scheduled conference, set up an appointment.

Ask your child about the school day.
Begin your child's day with a nourishing breakfast.
Congratulate your child for doing well.
Discuss homework with your child.
Encourage your child to read.
Find a quiet place for your child to study.
Give your child responsibility.
Help your child to build self-worth.
Include your child in making simple family decisions.
Join a library with your child.
Keep your child on a schedule that includes exercise and sleep.
Limit TV viewing by selecting programs with your child.
Make the time you spend with your child special.
Notice and discuss changes in your child's behavior.
Offer to help your child organize school papers.
Provide your child with good role models.
Question the activities your child shares with friends.
Respect your children's right to have their own opinions.
Share an interest or a hobby with your child.
Take time to listen to your child.
Urge your child to say "No" to drugs.
Visit places of interest with your child.
Work with your child to set up rules of behavior.
Xerox (or copy) and save records or articles that benefit your child.
Yield results by encouraging your child to do better.
Zoom through these activities one more time.

A child's school success can be linked to every important adult in his or her life. Parents and grandparents who are active in their children's schools are valuable assets to the health and vigor of those schools. Not only do teachers appreciate their efforts, but the whole school family does as well.

Be involved in your children's education. Parents' involvement helps students learn and improves schools. Here are some tips:

1. Provide resources at home for reading and learning. Parents should have books and magazines for their children and read to or with their children each day.
2. Set a good example. Parents should show their children that they believe reading is enjoyable and useful. They shouldn't spend all their time in front of the TV either.
3. Encourage children to do their best in school. Parents must indicate that they believe education is important and that they want their children to do the best they possibly can.
4. Emphasize academics. Too many parents get caught up in athletics when academics should be their first concern.
5. Support school rules and goals. Parents should take care not to undermine school rules, discipline or goals.
6. Use pressure positively. Parents should encourage children to do their best, but they should not apply too much pressure by setting unattainable goals or by involving them in too many activities.
7. Call teachers early if there is a problem. Don't wait for the teacher to call you. By alerting your child's teachers to a potential problem, you still have time to improve the situation.
8. Accept your responsibility as parents and don't expect the school and teachers to take over this job. For example, parents should make it their responsibility to teach children basic discipline at home rather than leave this task to teachers.
9. View drinking by underage youth and excessive partying as a serious matter, not a joke. Drinking, partying and staying out late take a toll on students' classroom performance. While parents are concerned about drug abuse, many fail to recognize that alcohol is the drug most frequently abused by youngsters, as well as adults.

Excerpted from The National PTA Talks to Parents: How to Get the Best Education for Your Child.

By Dr. Dorothy Rich
President, Home and School Institute

To judge whether a teacher is good, bad, or in between, you don't need to be an expert on education. As a teacher, I give parents clues on how to look at and grade my work when they visit my classroom.

That's why I tell parents to visit their children's school and classroom as soon as possible in the new school year.

Parents should schedule a visit and expect to spend a few hours in the classroom. They have to see the teacher and classroom in action to really know how to grade it.

Here are my basic clues for parents. You'll have your own to add.

• Don't be impressed with my bulletin boards or with whether the desks are neat and the room is quiet. Some of the best learning in my classroom goes on with students making noise or even laughing.
• Assess: Is there a feeling of security among the students? Do I encourage divergent opinions and answers, or am I "answer pulling," looking for the exact one I have in mind?
• How do I treat "wrong" answers? Do I discard them? Do I try to point out reasons why one answer is better than another?
• How do I treat "difficult" children, and what do I define as "difficult." It's possible that your children, on their problem days, may get similar treatment.
• Look carefully at my personality and me. I need not be beautiful. Yet like all good teachers, I need to convey to students qualities of optimism and encouragement.
• Try to come back to see me more than once. If you come away pleased with what you've seen, tell me. We teachers need praise, too. If something upsets you, discuss it with me first.
• Try not to tear down teachers in front of your children. This doesn't mean you need to whitewash the school and blame children when they come home complaining about something. Yet, agreeing with the children that teachers are "stupid" or "dull" defeats any good purposes.
• Watch out especially for phone conversations, when children can overhear parents complain about the "boring" homework they have been assigned. Instead talk to someone at the school, where it can do some good.
• For the best evaluation, look to your children. Are they interested in learning? Are they eager to go to school? When this is happening, the school year is good. When it isn't, there is trouble…trouble that all of us - students, parents and teachers - need to pay attention to.

Dr. Dorothy Rich, founder and president of the nonprofit Home and School Institute, is the creator of the trademarked MegaSkills programs for character and academic development used by the National Education Association and school districts in more than 4,000 schools.

Bridging the Great Homework Divide:

A solutions guide for parents of middle school students

In a recent survey, parents and middle school students reported that they are challenged by the demands of homework. Responses to the survey, titled The Great Homework Divide, indicate that students and their parents are struggling to adjust to the middle school workload, which can be both heavier and more varied than previously experienced by these students in a typical elementary school:

• Two-thirds of parents (66 percent) say that their middle school student seeks their help with homework.
• More than half of middle school students (57 percent) and their parents (59 percent) report that parents spend at least one hour a night helping with homework.
• Parents also report helping middle school students with homework, on average, two and one-half nights a week.

In cooperation with LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc., the National Education Association has developed a solutions guide, titled Bridging the Great Homework Divide: A Solutions Guide for Parents of Middle School Students, to help parents and middle school students meet the homework challenges they may face.

REASONS FOR HOMEWORK

Teachers assign homework for many reasons—to give students an opportunity to review class lessons, to measure students’ understanding of those lessons, and to help students extend their learning by finding and using new information on a subject. Homework can be an extension of the classroom; it allows students to practice applying skills they have already learned.   Homework also can benefit parents because it offers them a chance to learn what their children are expected to accomplish during the school year.

A HEAVIER MIDDLE SCHOOL HOMEWORK LOAD

Frequently, middle school teachers in all subjects assign nightly homework—and some teachers may add longer term projects, such as research papers, projects, and reports. The Great Homework Divide survey found the average sixth grader has 60–90 minutes of homework per night, and seventh and eighth graders can have homework that requires them to devote as much as two hours. More homework from more teachers requires students to develop organizational and planning skills. Parents can play an important role in their children’s success by providing a support system for meeting homework requirements.

STRICTER HOMEWORK POLICIES

Middle school students often face more exacting standards about how homework should be completed and the effect of homework on final grades than they previously experienced in elementary school. Many middle school teachers mandate that assignments be turned in on time and in a specific style or format. It is not uncommon for a teacher in middle school to give zero credit for late homework or to grade down for not following homework guidelines.

It is important for parents and teachers to work as a team when it comes to students' completing homework and receiving a quality public education and life-long learning experiences. Ensuring students' success is a shared responsibility. We have compiled some tips to help ease the challenges of the homework transition for middle school students:

1. Be prepared

• Assume your child will have studying to do every night. Even if they do not have a specific assignment to complete, establish and maintain regular homework time. If students do not have any homework on a particular night, suggest that they study for upcoming tests, do background research for long term assignments, review notes from class, or read a book.
• Set up a comfortable location for doing homework. Students need a distraction-free place to do homework. The kitchen table, provided there is proper lighting, a clean work surface, and a supportive chair, can be an ideal place. If other family members are using this common area, setting up a desk in your child's room may be the answer. You and your child can pick out lighting, a seat cushion, and other accessories together. Avoid letting your child do homework in an environment that is too comfortable, such as on a bed or a couch.
• Make sure your child has the necessary supplies.Many middle school teachers require specific tools, such as red pens, highlighters, graph paper, calculators, and three-hole punches. They may also expect students to have access to a computer and the Internet, which most school and public libraries make available for everyone's use.
• Work with your child’s outside activity schedule and preferences when setting up a regular homework time. Many middle school students have an assortment of outside activities that may leave them few opportunities for doing homework. Try to make it easier by establishing a routine homework time. Some children have a better attention span in the afternoon or evening and can order their priorities based on their family schedules.
• Help your child get organized. It is a good idea—and often a teacher's requirement—for your child to keep a schedule planner. Encourage your child to write down all assignments daily and even use the planner to maintain a longer-term "to-do" list. Students may enjoy checking off assignments as they are completed, allowing them to easily see the progress made over time in keeping up with their work.

2. Understand teachers' policies and expectations

• Ensure that your child knows each teacher's homework policy. Most middle school teachers either hand out a printed summary of homework expectations or post it on the class Web site at the beginning of the school year or new semester. Review the expectations together and have your child keep the summary in a personal binder or in a safe place at home that is easily accessible.
• Encourage your child to ask questions.Some middle school students are nervous about asking their teachers about assignments or instructions they don't understand. Reinforce the notion that teachers want students to ask questions before leaving the classroom or school for the day so that they have the information they need to complete assignments properly.
• Remind your child to visit teachers if needed.Teachers often make a point to be in the classroom before school, at lunch, or after school. If students are still having trouble understanding homework assignments, encourage them to take a few minutes to discuss homework questions with the teacher when they can talk one-on-one.

3. Be available and teach by example

• Make yourself available during homework time. While you've probably had a long day, just like your child, and may want to watch a TV show or run errands, it can benefit you both if you are nearby while they do homework. You may consider using this time to read, pay bills, or do paperwork that you can easily set aside if your child needs assistance with homework. Once everyone's work is done, maybe that walk outside or favorite family activity can be a treat for you all to share.  
• Stop by and check in while your child does homework, offering your support and advice. Teachers believe parents are the best source of motivation for students. You may serve as a sounding board as your child works through interesting ideas or challenging problems.
• Show interest in your child's schoolwork and discuss what your child is learning.Although they might not admit it, middle school students still like to know that their parents are interested in what they do. Ask questions about school that day, new homework assignments, or what your child likes or does not like about a particular lesson, class, or subject.
• Watch for signs of failure or frustration. If you sense that your child is getting frustrated or discouraged, try to provide guidance without necessarily providing answers. Sometimes suggesting that your child take a short break can be the best advice you can give. Offer to talk through the problem following the break. Your positive attitude about working through frustrations also can be part of the learning process. You will be helping your child to develop a healthy ability to stick with problems until they can be solved.

4. Identify other resources

• Don't hesitate to line up extra support if needed. If your child is having regular problems completing the homework for a certain subject, it may be time to schedule a conference with the teacher for you and your child. A teacher may be willing to offer suggestions for tutors or small-group study sessions in your area. Some schools offer peer tutoring or, in some instances, local high school students or community members may volunteer as tutors at the middle school.
• Get to know the guidance counselors and other school employees. Education support professionals generally know all of the students in the school, and their relationship with your child will continue as they advance from one grade to the next. In addition to teachers, other school employees can be great resources for homework assistance.
• Encourage your child to find homework buddies.It is always a good idea for children to identify a homework buddy in each class, someone they can call with questions or if they miss class.
• Consider providing technology aids to boost homework help.You may want to take advantage of the many technology-based tools now available. Today, parents can choose from a variety of educational software programs, a vast array of online resources, and even a new technology such as LeapFrog's FLY™ Pentop Computer, which serves as a homework coach for difficult subjects.

5. Stay in touch with your children's teachers

• E-mail can be an effective way to maintain regular contact with middle school teachers. The typical middle school teacher has about 150 students, many more than grade school teachers have. While this may limit the time teachers are available to talk with you by phone or meet with you in person, e-mail can be a great way to catch them during their daily breaks and in the evening. Check to see whether your child's teacher has access to e-mail.
• Let teachers know of any significant changes at home.Especially because they have so many students, middle school teachers need to have all the information possible regarding things that are going on with your family that may affect your child’s school performance.
• Get involved where you can. Unlike elementary school, parents in middle school are not often requested to help in the classroom. But you can make an effort to participate by offering to assist in the classroom for special projects, to drive and chaperone on field trips, or to share some relevant expertise.

6. Nurture your child's interests

• Inspire learning outside of school.Children who see opportunities for learning everywhere are more likely to view schoolwork as an extension of their interest in the world, rather than as a burden. If they enjoy sports, encourage them to hunt for articles in the paper or magazines about their favorite teams. If they love the arts, share reviews of movies or plays from newspapers and magazines. If you have a budding scientist, explore local parks and look for interesting plants to identify and study.
• Find activities that parallel what your child is studying in school. Learning expands for children who live what they learn in school. If your child is studying a foreign language, check out a popular teen movie in that language from the library or find a cookbook with recipes from that country to prepare together. Visit a museum exhibit on mummies if your child is studying ancient Egypt. Encourage your child to use new math or writing skills to balance an allowance budget or to write a poem or essay for a local contest.  

LEAPFROG, the LeapFrog logo, and FLY are trademarks or registered trademarks
of LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. © 2006 LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved.
© Copyright 2002-2006 National Education Association.

Summer is a time when kids relax and recharge their batteries for the coming school year. On the downside, it's often accompanied by 'summer slide'—a loss in knowledge and academic skills. In the fall, teachers typically spend six weeks (or longer) revisiting material that students covered the previous year, just to bring them up to speed. How can parents help their kids retain learning, and still provide the relaxation they need?

With a little planning, parents can structure a summer vacation that balances work and play. Here are some ideas:

• Learning camps are a great way for kids to have fun and stay intellectually engaged. From crafts to computers, there's a camp for every avocation. And since many cities offer free or low-cost camps, more families can take advantage.

• Plan family outings to museums, zoos, and cultural attractions. Nearly every major city has a natural history museum—a perennial favorite with kids. Also, exploratoriums offer the allure of hands-on fun while teaching science.

• Make regular trips to the public library. If they don't already have them, get library cards for all family members—and use them often. Let children see that reading for pleasure, as well as information, is an important part of your life. You can use our reading lists to choose books that will keep kids turning those pages!

  • Teachers' Top 100 Books for Children
  • Kids' Top 100 Books
  • Asian-American Booklist
  • Spanish/English Bilingual Booklist
  • 50 Multicultural Books Every Child Should Know
  • Celebrity Book Picks
  • 50 State Booklist
  • Youth Leaders for Literacy Booklist
  • Native American Booklist
  • African American Booklist
  • Authors' Favorites Booklist
    

Introduce kids to educational Web sites that can help keep their skills sharp. Check out the American Library Association's links to Great Web Sites for Kids.

For more information on National Summer Learning Day, and about keeping kids engaged in learning throughout the summer, visit www.summerlearning.org/summerlearningday/.

Practical Information that Parents Can Put to Use

Developed through a joint effort between NEA and National Parent Teacher Association (PTA), these guides provide parents and caregivers with fundamental tools to encourage their children's success in school.

Download Brochures or Order by Phone

Download PDF versions below, or if you prefer, order hard copies of each 4-color brochure at no charge.

Call toll free 800-717-9790 or visit www.neapubs.com to order.

	A Parent's Guide to Preparing Your Child for School Download page 1 ( 191 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 226 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to a Successful Kindergarten Transition Download page 1 ( 224 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 279 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Teen Get the Most Out of High School Download page 1 ( 177 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 242 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Ready Readers—and Keeping Them That Way Download page 1 ( 158 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 261 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Learn to Read Download page 1 ( 207 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 290 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child with Today's Math Download page 1 ( 206 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 324 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Scientifically Literate Children Download page 1 ( 202 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 283 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide: Hey Mom, I Want To Be An Engineer! Download page 1 ( 316 KB, 1p, 8½ x 14) Download page 2 ( 367 KB, 1p, 8½ x 14)
	A Parent's Guide to Testing at Your Child's School Download page 1 ( 216 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 293 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Choosing Supplemental Education Service Providers Download page 1 ( 228 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11) Download page 2 ( 308 KB, 1p, 8½ x 11)

Check out these sites to help you help your kids get the most out of school.

(Please note that the ISEA does not control the content of the sites pointed to below--they are entirely the responsibility of the respective webmasters. While we believe these sites to be generally of high quality, parents should carefully monitor their children's use of the Internet to ensure that specific sites do not contain links to more questionable content.)

• National Education Association
  A look at the issues that shape the future of education in America.
• Iowa Department of Education
  All you need to know about education in Iowa.
• PBS Parents
  Check this site out for tips on fun parenting along with issues and advice.
• U.S. Department of Education Family Involvement Initiative
  Lots of well-organized and useful information for parents PLUS links to other interesting education-related web sites.
• Ask Dr. Math
  If you have a question related to math, then it's most likely been answered here!
• Yahooligans!
  The first web guide for kids, this handy resource leads users to content appropriate for children. The Yahooligans! interface retains the familiar look and feel of the popular Yahoo! site while integrating more youth-oriented graphics.
• Family Education Network
  A unique membership-based online service designed to help families get more involved in their children's education.
• Family Fun
  Check out this award-winning Web site which focuses on innovative activities for families and practical ideas for busy parents.
• Iowa PTA
  Find out how to get involved in your school.
• National PTA
  Click here to see how parents can be educational partners.

Keep your kids safe online

WiredSafety.org offers a large collection of resources on keeping kids safe online. Learn about cyberbullying, online scams, spyware, safe surfing, and good e-mail practices. You'll find parent's guides to understanding online safety issues, links to safe sites for kids of all ages, and tips to protect your family's privacy online.

Translate your kid's cyberlanguage

Do you know what PAW means? How about LUWAMH? It's hard to keep an eye on your kids online when you don't speak the same language. Teenangels.org, a division of WiredSafety.org, offers a downloadable chat lingo translator and an updated list of common acronyms used in instant messaging and text messaging. Netlingo.com is another source for the shorthand and acronyms used in online communication.

How to talk to your child's teacher

Your child receives a bad grade, and you want to discuss it with her teacher—without either of you getting defensive. The right words can make all the difference. Author Sam Horn has simple tips for talking with teachers and principals that'll help you raise concerns effectively and work together on solutions.

Discipline problems hurt student learning

Teachers and parents believe that a few persistent troublemakers cause most discipline problems in schools -- but that those few are interfering with other students' learning and causing teachers to leave the profession, according to a new study from Public Agenda. Eight in 10 teachers say students are quick to threaten to sue over being disciplined. The study found that parents and teachers generally support the same remedies for restoring order in classrooms. Read more about the study, "Teaching Interrupted," and answer some of the survey questions yourself to see how your opinions match up.

Give kids good schools

Here's an easy way to help put a quality teacher in every classroom. At GiveKidsGoodSchools.com, a new national campaign from the Public Education Network, you can send an e-mail to your governor demanding that good teachers be a top priority in your state.

Preparing your child for Kindergarten and beyond

Children's earliest experiences can make a big difference in how their brains develop and how well they do in school. That's why finding good child care and preschool programs that help children to learn and grow is so important. Parents' Action for Children offers tips for finding quality child care and preschool programs, as well as advice to help you decide what type of arrangement is best for your child.

Reading tips for spanish-speaking parents

Reading Rockets, a multimedia initiative of PBS station WETA, created Colorín Colorado! , the first major Web site specifically for Spanish-speaking parents to help their children learn to read. Featuring beautiful illustrations from Caldecott Award-winning illustrator David Diaz and entertaining video clips of celebrities such as the late Celia Cruz, Miguel Varoni and author Pat Mora, the site also includes downloadable resources for teachers and librarians to distribute to parents in their own communities.

Web site points Hispanic students to scholarships

Get easy access to more than 1,000 sources of college financial aid at the Hispanic Scholarship Directory Web site. Sponsored by NEA and the National Hispanic Press Foundation, the site includes college application guidelines and a scholarship database searchable by state, college, and field of interest.

What makes a good school?

What Makes a Good School? (PDF, 26 KB, 11 pp.), from the Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards & Student Testing, uses sound research findings to identify the qualities of a successful school. Good schools, the authors say, have strong and professional administrators and teachers; a broad curriculum available to all students; a philosophy that says all children can learn, coupled with high expectations for all students; a school climate conducive to learning; an ongoing assessment system that supports good instruction; and a high level of parent and community involvement and support.

Develop MegaSkills!

MegaSkills programs, now in over 3000 schools in 48 states, serve diverse communities by training teachers to conduct workshops and provide home learning "recipes" for families. Evaluation indicates higher achievement scores, decreased TV watching, increased homework time, higher attendance and decreased discipline incidents.

Math help: go figure!

The Figure This! Mathematics Challenges for FamiliesWeb site offered by the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics provides interesting math challenges that middle school students can do at home with their families. Looking for more math resources? NEA has compiled a list.

PBS's award-winning 'Between the Lions'

NEA has endorsed the "Between the Lions" TV show for kids 4–7. The series offers educationally sound reading instruction that combines phonics and whole language. Airing weekdays on PBS, Between the Lions is set in a magical library run by a family of big "cats"—lions Theo, Cleo, Lionel and Leona—who run a library where characters pop off the pages of books, vowels sing and words take on a life of their own.

Public Agenda studies child-rearing challenges

Public Agenda has conducted a number of research reports on family and education topics. The latest, "All Work and No Play?" explores what parents and kids want from out-of-school time. "What Parents Are Saying About TV Today" outlines parents' concerns about sex, violence and profanity on TV, while questions about pop culture, drugs and crime figure in "A Lot Easier Said Than Done: Parents Talk About Raising Children in Today's America". "Playing Their Parts: What Parents and Teachers Really Mean by Parental Involvement" looks at the ways parents and teachers agree -- and disagree -- about what parents should be doing in their kids' schools.

Join the Public Education Network

The non-profit Public Education Network (PEN) believes "that equal opportunity, access to quality public schools and an informed citizenry are all critical components of a democratic society. PEN's goal is to ensure that the availability of high-quality public education is every child's right and not a privilege."

PTA has To say

The National PTA , the largest volunteer child advocacy organization in the United States, offers parents substantial resources to help them ensure "the success of your child in school, with friends, and in life."

PTO Today focuses on parent group leaders

Founded in the Spring of 1999, PTO Today, Inc. is a resource for parent group leaders and serves as a connection between those leaders and parent group marketers. Their Web site, www.ptotoday.com , is intended "to facilitate sharing among parent leaders."

Librarians' picks

The American Library Association recommends quality booklists and Web sites for parents, kids, teens and families, as well as tips for keeping kids safe online.

Family-school partnerships pay off for kids

The National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education "advocates the involvement of parents and families in their children's education, and fosters relationships between home, school, and community to enhance the education of all our nation's young people."

Reading Rockets, a multimedia initiative of PBS station WETA, created Colorín Colorado! It’s the first major Web site specifically for Spanish-speaking parents to help their children learn to read. Featuring beautiful illustrations from Caldecott Award-winning illustrator David Diaz and entertaining video clips of celebrities such as the late Celia Cruz, Miguel Varoni and author Pat Mora, the site also includes downloadable resources for teachers and librarians to distribute to parents in their own communities.

Parent’s Guides Available in English and Spanish

NEA’s popular guides for parents, available in English and Spanish, cover a variety of topics and offer tips and advice to help you help your child succeed.  All resources listed are at nea.org/parents.

• A Parent’s Guide to Testing at Your Child’s School -- Guía de padres de familia sobre los exámenes de sus hijos en la escuela 
• A Parent’s Guide to Raising Ready Readers (A joint project of NEA and National PTA) -- Guía de padres de familia para incentivar a sus hijos a leer
• A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Child Learn to Read (A joint project of NEA and National PTA) -- Guía de padres de familia para ayudar a sus hijos a aprender a leer
• A Parent’s Guide to Choosing Supplemental Service Providers (A joint project of NEA and National PTA) -- Guía de padres de familia para escoger proveedores de servicios suplementarios 
• A Parent’s Guide to School Involvement (A joint project of NEA and National PTA) -- Guía para la participación de los padres de familia en las escuelas de sus hijos
• A Parent’s Guide to Supporting School Success -- Guía de padres de familia para ayudar a sus hijos lograr el éxito escolar

Web Site Points Hispanic Students to Scholarships

Get easy access to more than 1,000 sources of college financial aid at the Hispanic Scholarship Directory Web site . Sponsored by NEA and the National Hispanic Press Foundation, the site includes college application guidelines and a scholarship database searchable by state, college, and field of interest.

TV can be a family affair.

Parents: Are you wondering what you can do to keep TV from having a harmful effect on your kids? Try some of these tips:

Watch TV with your children

• Help them select the right TV programs by checking the TV listings in advance.
• Watch programs that are fair in their treatment of people.
• Watch programs that are not violent or too sophisticated in content.
• Plan with children what shows they can watch - whether you are home or away.
• Be aware that public television has special programming.
• Watch for programs especially geared to children.

TV - Keep it under control.

• Insist on a limit to TV time.
• Discuss what's "real" and what's "unreal" on TV and in life.
• Talk about how violence can be harmful - real people hurt when injured.
• Provide adequate light in the TV area.
• Watch for tiredness, listlessness, glassy eyes, trance-like states- signs of poor health or too much TV.
• Talk about other ways problems could have been solved than the way they were in the TV story.
• Make meals a family event - don't eat in front of the TV set.
• Select food carefully - not what a TV character urges kids to eat.

Parents ask, "What can I do?"

TV time takes time from other activities that are very important to a child's development - homework, physical activity, creative expression, learning individual skills. TV does not have to be watched all the time.

Here are a few things that can be done instead:

• Read to your children, or encourage them to read for the same amount of time they watch TV.
• Encourage children to finish their homework before watching TV.
• Plan enjoyable mental and physical activities both indoors and outdoors.
• Avoid using TV as a baby-sitter; help your children learn to entertain themselves.
• Avoid excessive or violent TV viewing in your home.
• And remember there's another choice - turn the set OFF.

Is TV harmful to children?

Examine these facts . . .

• The average child sees 11,000 television murders by age 14.
• Violent behavior on TV may cause aggression in children. Horror is damaging.
• Children copy what they see or hear. They don't know real vs. unreal, violent vs. non-violent, bad vs. good behavior. They become confused. Some have been hospitalized after trying to imitate TV characters.
• Children eat too much junk food while watching TV and don't get enough exercise.

• Children who watch TV late at night often don't do their homework, are sleepy in school the next day and have a shorter attention span.
• Reading skills do not develop when the child watches TV excessively instead of reading.
• Children who don't play with friends haven't learned the social skills necessary for classroom interaction.
• Two or more TV sets split families. Family life is sacrificed.
• Children need "time out"- a quiet time to think - for better mental health.

We care about your kids

Your caring makes a teacher's caring mean so much more. Caring is more than a matter of love and dedication. Your children's' teachers have plenty of both. But a teacher's caring alone is not enough. Your children should know you care, too.

Be involved, interested and concerned. Then and only then can your children get the most out of the caring their teachers give them.

Teachers and parents ... the more we work together, the more we'll help your children.

The tragic acts of terrorism, the violence shown on television -- these are unprecedented in the American experience. Children, like many people, may be confused or frightened by the news and will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents and schools can help children cope first and foremost by establishing a sense of safety and security. Adults can help children work through their emotions and perhaps even use the process as a learning experience.

Here is some useful information.

- What All Adults Should Do
- What Parents Can Do
- What Schools Can Do
- For More Information

All adults should:

1. Model calm and control. Children take their emotional cues from the significant adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or frightened.
   
2. Reassure children that they are safe and so are the other important adults in their lives. Explain that these buildings were targeted for their symbolism and that schools, neighborhoods, and regular office buildings are not at risk.
   
3. Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge. Explain that the government, emergency workers, police, fireman, doctors, and even the military are helping people who are hurt and are working to ensure that no further tragedies occur.
   
4. Let children know that it is okay to feel upset. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy like this occurs. Let children talk about their feelings and help put them into perspective. Even anger is okay, but children may need help and patience from adults to assist them in expressing these feelings appropriately.
   
5. Observe children's emotional state. Depending on their age, children may not express their concerns verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite, and sleep patterns can also indicate a child's level of grief, anxiety or discomfort. Children will express their emotions differently. There is no right or wrong way to feel or express grief.
   
6. Tell children the truth. Don't try to pretend the event has not occurred or that it is not serious. Children are smart. They will be more worried if they think you are too afraid to tell them what is happening.
   
7. Stick to the facts. Don't embellish or speculate about what has happened and what might happen. Don't dwell on the scale or scope of the tragedy, particularly with young children.
   
8. Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should be balanced with reassurances that the daily structures of their lives will not change. Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done at their school. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence in schools and society. They will share concrete suggestions about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society. They will be more committed to doing something to help the victims and affected community. For all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!

What parents can do

1. Focus on your children over the next day or so. Tell them you love them and everything will be okay. Try to help them understand what has happened, keeping in mind their developmental level.
   
2. Make time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not talk to your children about this incident someone else will. Take some time and determine what you wish to say.
   
3. Stay close to your children. Your physical presence will reassure them and give you the opportunity to monitor their reaction. Many children will want actual physical contact. Give plenty of hugs. Let them sit close to you, and make sure to take extra time at bedtime to cuddle and to reassure them that they are loved and safe.
   
4. Limit the amount of your child's television viewing of these events. If they must watch, watch with them for a brief time; then turn the set off. Don't sit mesmerized re-watching the same events over and over again.
   
5. Maintain a "normal" routine. To the extent possible stick to your family's normal routine for dinner, homework, chores, bedtime, etc., but don't be inflexible. Children may have a hard time concentrating on schoolwork or falling asleep at night.
   
6. Spend extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children before bed. These activities are calming, foster a sense of closeness and security, and reinforce a sense of normalcy. Spend more time tucking them in. Let them sleep with a light on if they ask for it.
   
7. Safeguard your children's physical health. Stress can take a physical toll on children as well as adults. Make sure your children get appropriate sleep, exercise and nutrition.
   
8. Consider praying or thinking hopeful thoughts for the victims and their families. It may be a good time to take your children to church or the synagogue, write a poem, or draw a picture to help your child express their feelings and feel that they are somehow supporting the victims and their families.
   
9. Find out what resources your school has in place to help children cope. Most schools are likely to be open and often are a good place for children to regain a sense of normalcy. Being with their friends and teachers can help. Schools should also have a plan for making counseling available to children and adults who need it.

1. Assure children that they are safe and that schools are well prepared to take care of all children at all times.
   
2. Maintain structure and stability within the schools. It would be best, however, not to have tests or major projects within the next few days.
   
3. Have a plan for the first few days back at school. Include school psychologists, counselors and crisis team members in planning the school's response.
   
4. Provide teachers and parents with information about what to say and do for children in school and at home.
   
5. Have teachers provide information directly to their students, not during the public address announcements.
   
6. Have school psychologists and counselors available to talk to student and staff who may need or want extra support.
   
7. Be aware of students who may have recently experienced a personal tragedy or a have personal connection to victims or their families. Even a child who has been to visit the Pentagon or the World Trade Center may feel a personal loss. Provide these students extra support and leniency if necessary.
   
8. Know what community resources are available for children who may need extra counseling. School psychologists can be very helpful in directing families to the right community resources.
   
9. Allow time for age appropriate classroom discussion and activities. Do not expect teachers to provide all of the answers. They should ask questions and guide the discussion, but not dominate it. Other activities can include art and writing projects, play acting, and physical games.
   
10. Be careful not to stereotype people or countries that might be home to the terrorists. Children can easily generalize negative statements and develop prejudice.
    
11. Refer children who exhibit extreme anxiety, fear or anger to mental health counselors in the school. Inform their parents.
    
12. Provide an outlet for students' desire to help. Consider making get well cards or sending letters to the families and survivors of the tragedy, or writing thank you letters to doctors, nurses, and other health care professionals as well as emergency rescue workers, firefighters and police.
    
13. Monitor or restrict viewing of this horrendous event as well as the aftermath.

For more information

For information on helping children and youth with this crisis, contact NASP at (301) 657-0270 or visit NASP's Web site at www.nasponline.org

National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, (301) 657-0270, Fax (301) 657-0275

Helping your teenager get the most out of school

For many parents, dealing with a teenager is perplexing. Teenagers require special patience and wisdom. Here's help with some of the common concerns - particularly how parents can help make the school years more productive.

Letting teenagers know you care

The fundamentals of good discipline include:

Setting standards

Don't assume children know what you expect. Tell them.

• Apply those standards consistently
• Show concern for the child 's self-esteem

The behavior may be unacceptable, but the child is still a worthwhile, loved human being. Make sure you say that. The particular needs of teenagers include:

Reasonable academic standards

The assumption is that teenagers need to be pushed, that they're not performing to ability. That's true for many. But others push themselves too hard, and that's just as damaging. You need to be sensitive to your child's abilities and attitudes.

Responsibility for their own actions

Painful as it may be for both children and parents, teenagers must accept the consequences of their behavior.

When children have problems, it is tempting to rescue them. But teenagers are becoming adults; they must learn firsthand that we're all accountable for our actions.

If a teen is in trouble parents often ask, "Where did we go wrong?" That question can only lead to blame and self-doubt. A healthier question is, "How can we help our child to go right?"

Sensing that their parents respect them

Even when you "know" your children are wrong, you must listen to them. Sharing feelings and reasons is essential to their well-being as well as to our understanding. If you stop listening, they'll stop talking.

Recognizing the impact of peer pressure

To many teenagers, their friends' views are more important than their parents' views. Downgrading those friends or their views usually drives the teenager even further away.

On the other hand, don't relinquish your role and become "one of the gang." Children need responsible adults with high standards who care about their welfare. Respect the fact that peer pressure exists, but tell your children when you think that pressure is leading them in the wrong direction - and why.

Discipline and school:
How parents can help understand the school's discipline code

Most districts have a written policy on discipline. It outlines unacceptable behavior and establishes penalties. Ask your child, or the school, for a copy. Read it. You gain the respect of your teenager and the school staff when you take an interest in the rules of behavior. Stress the importance of an orderly school environment.

If your teen has a problem, contact the school. Both you and the school staff want what's best for your child. Be positive. Ask how you can help.

Encourage regular attendance

Understand the policies of the school. Sometimes academic standing is affected by absences. The school needs to know if there is a special problem. Check to see that your child makes up the work he missed when absent.

Let your child know that his record will follow him and that employers put a high premium on regular attendance. Teachers recognize that frequent absences are often a sign of other problems. It's better to consult with both your teenager and the school before there's a need for them to contact you.

Attend parent-teacher conferences

Virtually every school conducts regularly scheduled conferences. Unfortunately, parents of teenagers often neglect these conferences. Don't. Look at conferences as an opportunity to:

• Learn what will be happening in class that year and how you can help.
• Provide information that will help the teacher work with your child.
• Ask about the evaluation system. What do grades mean? How are they determined?

Work with teachers

Sometimes a particular concern arises and you would like to talk to an individual teacher. Do so! KNEA teachers welcome the interest and help of parents. Whether you or the teacher arranges that conference, remember:

• Contact the teacher first. If you feel the problem has not been resolved, ask for a joint conference with a guidance counselor or the principal. If you go over the head of the teacher, you are sending the wrong message to both the teacher and your child.
• A decision to include the child, or anyone else, should be a mutual one.
• Listen with an open mind. Share your feelings and concerns calmly.
• Remember that the goal is to resolve the problem, not to assign blame.
• Working with teenagers is a challenge. Cooperation between the school and parents makes that job easier for everyone!

Summer solutions

When classes end for the summer, your middle grader's mind doesn't have to go on vacation. Consider the following activities. Like these families, you can combine fun and learning.

Regular reading.
"My son volunteers in the library's 'Book Buddy' program. On Mondays and Wednesdays, the librarian matches him with a first-grader. Sometimes he reads aloud; sometimes the child does. My son's reading has improved, and I'm surprised at how patient he is with his younger buddies."

Backyard business.
"Every year my granddaughter and her best friend pass out flyers to family, friends, and neighbors. They offer to pet-sit, garden, and baby-sit. Business is great! The girls have to put half the money they earn in the bank. Not only are they learning to budget, they're also learning how to market a business and schedule their time."

Community central.
"The local recreation center offers lots of free or inexpensive programs. Every week we check the paper to see what's scheduled. My daughter really enjoys the art programs and slide shows about different places and animals. She and her friends also attend the sports programs, movies, and supervised teen parties."

While kids need some time to relax over the summer, they can't stop reading. Kids who don't read through the summer may slip far back in their learning by fall.

Here are some fun ways to keep your kids reading:

• Read it, then do it. Does your child want to learn magic tricks? Juggling? Computer games? There's sure to be a book that can help him. Have your child read the instructions and then give it a try.
• Look it up. When your kids ask questions you can't answer, write them down. The next time you're in the library, choose one or two questions. See if you can be "detectives" and find the answers.
• Read magazines. Especially in the summer, magazines are a great way to keep reading. They can be rolled up and stuffed into beach bags or backpacks. The articles aren't long and usually have pictures.
• Look for lighter reading. Ask the librarian to recommend books kids love. Try joke books or other books that will make your child laugh.
• Set a schedule. Each day, make sure there's some time for everyone in the family to read. When your kids are quietly reading, you can curl up with a book yourself.

It's smart and easy to keep kids learning all summer long. They can go to museums, the library, the zoo and more.

But there are many other places to learn in your community that you might not think of.

They are familiar places. But when you take children there to learn, they'll see their community in a whole new light!

To make learning an adventure, consider taking children to:

A garden store or nursery. This is where you can find some hands-on science. Observe nursery workers planting and pruning. Introduce children to "natural pest controls" - lady bugs and praying mantises.

The mall. Instead of buying, go on a treasure hunt. Give each person an imaginary $30 to choose something the whole family would enjoy. Discuss value, quality and trends.

A fast food restaurant. What's behind the scenes at your local burger or pizza place? Call the restaurant manager to schedule a tour to find out. Check out the machinery. Talk about nutritional choices.

The ballpark. Here's a place you can reinforce math skills. Help children keep score. Figure batting averages and RBI's. Keep time.

Hometown tour. Imagine you're from another place. Visit local sites including monuments, and natural as well as human-made wonders.

In middle school, even popular and confident kids feel shy at one time or another. But if students are afraid to ask questions, grades may suffer. And shy middle graders are often too embarrassed to meet new friends. Share these facts to help your child understand and cope with shy moments.

• Not everyone is judging you. Shy people often think that everyone is judging them. Some people do judge, but most people are too worried about themselves to worry about anyone else.
  
• Good things can happen if you try. People who are shy usually expect to fail, so they don't try. For example, your daughter wants to try out for the summer play but doesn't because she thinks, "I'll blow it." Encourage her to audition with a friend.
  
• There are alternatives. If your son is too shy to ask questions in class, he could ask at lunch or before school. If your daughter doesn't want to appear onstage, she could still work behind the scenes and meet new people.

Working together to provide your child a quality education

Behind the scenes it takes a lot of good people to make a good school.

It takes a lot of good people, working together. The first person who comes to mind is your child's teacher, but it's important for you to know everyone who is important to your schools, and therefore, to your child's education. We want to be sure you meet and get to know them. We realize that we'll never fully describe all the things these people do (so we'll just mention some highlights), and we understand that some of these people may not be a part of your specific district. On the other hand, you may have people in important jobs that aren't covered here. But in general, these are a few of the key support people at your school--and what they do.

Secretaries

If ever the term "jack-of-all-trades" applies, it applies to the secretaries. They do all the things that secretaries in most businesses do. But they also do a lot of jobs that nobody else in the school does. They are the key people to whom everyone comes for information. Students ask them everything. Parents phone constantly. Teachers ask about all kinds of rules and records. They type correspondence and tests. They make sure attendance records balance. They help find lost books and soothe over little hurts. They register all visitors and new students. They occasionally find lunch money when someone loses it. And sometimes, they keep track of their school's budget.

Custodian/Maintenance

The custodian keeps the school running. The school, with all its different parts, is like a big machine, and the custodian must know everything about running it. Operating the boilers that keep the school warm requires special training and a special state license. It's a big, vital job. Who fixes the broken oven in the kitchen so your children can have hot lunches? The maintenance staff. Who fixes a stuck window so the class can get fresh air? The maintenance staff. Who remodels a classroom so it can be used more effectively? Who fixes the roof and the boilers? The maintenance staff.

Transportation Service

These are the folks who take your children to and from school and take them on those special field trips. In some districts, each one is responsible for driving as many as 400 children a day! And that means knowing them all well, so that everyone is safe and well-behaved. What does the bus driver do when the bus driver isn't driving the bus? Good question. Bus drivers are responsible for the safety and cleanliness of the buses. They make necessary safety checks and keep the buses ship-shape. Occasionally, the bus drivers will do "courier" work, delivering important messages within the school system. They are important people indeed!

Teacher Aides/Paraprofessionals

These are really very special people and they help in many different ways. There are teachers' aides who help the teachers and let them spend more of their time in direct instruction. Some schools have library aides, some have cafeteria aides. In some schools, there are clerical aides, playground aides, or even bus aides. If there's an important job in the school that really needs some help, aides help.

And that's just the beginning

It's important to reemphasize: a good school includes all of these people--and others--people who work, as a team, to keep your schools running efficiently and your children learning better. For example, in some schools it is tremendously important to have security personnel who help reduce the costs of vandalism, remove any threat of violence, or simply ease the occasional anxiety of a young child walking to school. How can you measure the value of a school nurse who's always there to bandage a sore thumb or take a temperature? School nurses teach and heal in many ways. And the librarian who helps uncover a vast new world that the children will explore for a lifetime? And the people who work in the cafeteria making sure your children get balanced, nutritious meals? And the counselors who guide them in making important decisions? And, of course, there's the principal who tries to help all of these people work together, so your children get a better education.

By mentioning these people, we're sure we've left out others who deserve to be cited. The point is this: your children's classroom is certainly the focal point of their education. But it is the whole school staff family that supports learning and makes it possible for your child to get a good education.

1. Your child's health is reflected in most areas of schooling and should be cared for by you and your physician and dentist. Any condition of a serious nature should be reported to the school. You should continue to emphasize personal hygiene and cleanliness. Diet is of prime importance. A good breakfast to start off each day is important. Follow through on eye and ear screenings and routine immunizations. Consult your child's physical education teacher concerning physical development and coordination and how you may assist.
2. See to it that your child has enough sleep each day and is properly dressed for weather conditions. The child should be kept home from school if definite signs of illness such as a rise in temperature, a suspicious rash or a severe cough are noted. Send a note to explain an absence when the child returns to school. Be alert for signs of poor vision, such as squinting, frowning or red, watery eyes. Faulty hearing can be indicated by earaches, chronic inattention or by frequent requests that statements be repeated.
3. Encourage the habit of vigorous daily activity. Active play builds strong muscles, which are basic to good health and posture. Join your child in active games and stress good sportsmanship. Encourage participation in creative activities and individual and team sports.
4. Children should be taught their full name, address and telephone number at an early age. Select the safest, most direct walking route to school and check to see that your child uses it. Explain any traffic hazards along the way. Teach your child to stop at the curb or at the side of the road; to look in both directions to be sure there is no traffic or that traffic has stopped before crossing; to WALK across the road in the crosswalk: and to obey a student patrol or adult crossing guard if there is one. Warn your child never to get in a car or accept a ride with a stranger.
5. If your child has to travel to and from school on a bus, they must know the fundamentals of bus safety means to stand well back from the road while waiting for the bus; to always remain seated while the bus is moving; and to keep head and arms inside the bus at all times. When it is necessary to cross the street to board the bus, teach your child to STOP, LOOK and then WALK across the street to the bus only after the bus driver has signaled that it is safe. Children learn very quickly from experience. Why not ride a bus with your child and demonstrate the fundamentals of bus safety? If your child is permitted to ride a bicycle to school, be sure the child knows and obeys bicycle laws. The bicycle should be checked frequently to be sure the brakes are working properly and that the handlebars and seat are not loose.
6. Does your child "hate" a certain subject? Find out why. Your child may need extra help. Maybe your own aversion to a certain subject has caused it. Seek the reason behind the dislike, then enlist the teacher's help so that you can work together to conquer it.
7. Learn as much as you can from the school principal and staff about school curriculum, teaching methods, club activities. Then you can give your child help that fits realistically into everyday learning programs.
8. REMEMBER! Listen with interest, encourage and ask questions, be generous with praise, enthusiasm and sympathy. You can bridge the gap between home and school and make learning fun for both you and your child.

1. Read to your child often. Make a pleasant experience of the event, making sure the session is relaxed and unhurried. Let your child choose a favorite story and explain pictures and answer questions about it. As time goes by you can stop in the middle of a familiar story and ask what happens next. This encourages memory skills and reinforces the material in the text.
2. Begin talking to your child from infancy. Make sounds, call attention to sounds and connect them with objects and events. Talk to the child and explain activities as you perform them. Listen and encourage conversation with you. Answer questions patiently and as promptly as possible. Play listening games with your child. A good bedtime game is to listen quietly and identify as many sounds as possible - heartbeats, breathing, traffic. Listening attentively is essential in learning.
3. When your child is learning to read, try "labeling" household objects with the child's name printed in bold letters on masking tape; encourage the reading of signs, posters, everything.
4. Besides regular children's materials, read aloud from ordinary books, magazines, newspapers, advertisements. Your child will begin to recognize the fact that the printed word is a part of every day life that conveys useful, interesting and amusing information. Set a good example by reading yourself in the child's presence, thus establishing the idea that reading is an enjoyable and rewarding activity.
5. Introduce your child to the wonders of the public library at an early age. Sometimes during shopping trips browse there answering questions about various books and other printed materials. As soon as possible, a child should be allowed to apply for a library card and choose books. Encourage frequent use of the school library. Read and discuss books brought home for possible school projects or during family sharing periods. Subscribe to a children's magazine. Children love the idea of having their very own periodical.
6. Make certain the reading area is comfortable and well-lit. Take special note of any signs of reading difficulty that may be caused by poor eyesight. If such problems are noted, take prompt action either through your own physician or through the school nurse's office.
7. Search out the better television programs for children. Public television, especially, provides a wealth of interesting and educational programming. Take the opportunity to watch some of the productions along with your child. Discuss the programs. Note comments and try to answer questions. When words are shown, ask that they be read to you or you read them to the child.
8. Before you select books for birthday or Christmas, ask the teacher's advice. Books tailored for the child's age-group and skill in reading as well as those that dovetail with topics and times being studied in school will make the book more readable and therefore more enjoyable. Also when selecting books for gifts provide those of "special" interest to the child.
9. When your child is writing a school report, show that information from several sources is better than relying on just one book. This way the child will get acquainted with the wide world of "available sources" that are on any given topic.
10. Hang up a large chalkboard on which to write messages. Have a family bulletin board, too, and occasionally pin up cartoons and short magazine articles you think your child will enjoy.
11. Encourage the writing and addressing of personal greeting cards, invitations and thank you notes, writing your grocery lists putting names in your address book. Suggest a backyard "mail box for exchanging regular letters with the child next door. Write notes and letters to your children. Encourage a written reply. Give praise for all efforts in writing.
12. Word games like Scrabble can help increase your child's vocabulary and improve spelling. There are many games that have junior versions. Ask the salesperson.
13. If at any age your child seems "turned off by reading, don't make an issue of it. Casually leave "irresistible" books around - books on whatever the child's current interests are.

REMEMBER! Listen with interest, encourage and ask questions, be generous with praise, enthusiasm and sympathy. You can bridge the gap between home and school and make learning fun for both you and your child.

It can be a parent's worst nightmare. A rainy day in the summer. Suddenly you're trapped with a house full of antsy kids. But if you plan ahead, you can keep your children entertained despite the weather.

Here are a few tips:

• Keep a collection of old - but entertaining - clothing so that your kids can play dress-up. Some items may include hats, shoes, dresses, wigs and trousers with suspenders. You'll be surprised what sorts of games kids will play when they take on new characters in their new clothes.
  
  
• A puppet show can cure boredom. Make a stage out of old cardboard boxes or even buy one and have the kids help make puppets out of old socks or popsicle sticks.
  
  
• Have an indoor picnic. Pack a basket of goodies, spread a blanket out on the floor and pretend you're in the woods.
  
  
• Be on the lookout for fun pictures that you find in magazines and newspapers. Cut these out and keep them in an old shoe box or ice-cream bucket then let kids pick out three pictures each. Ask them to make up a story that involves each of the pictures that they have chosen.
  
  
• Bake and decorate cookies. Make multicolored frosting using a few drops of food coloring mixed with plain white icing. Kids can use toothpicks to decorate the cookies. Don't forget to supply them with plenty of sprinkles.

Read!

Make history come alive with this interesting project.

Together, write letters or send e-mail to relatives and friends. Or, post a sign at a senior citizen center asking for pen pals. You might ask questions like these:

• Where were you born?
• What were your favorite activities when you were 12?
• What happened in the world when you were my age?
• Do you remember the moon landing?
• Were you alive during a war? What was it like?

Your family will enjoy reading the letters. And your kids will discover that "history" happened to people they know. (Hint: Remind your children to send thank-you notes.)

1. Help your child learn all that is possible about the natural world in which we live. Encourage curiosity in the area of geography, land formations, climate and weather. Try to answer questions when your child is young and, when older, explain to your child how to find the answers. Discuss current events, encourage the reading of newspapers and periodicals and the watching of local and national news telecasts.
2. Provide your child with social studies research materials, including a dictionary, atlas, globe and almanac. A map of the city and gasoline road maps are excellent for plotting trips and helping the child understand geographic relationships. Keep the research items conveniently close to the TV set for use during news and documentary programs.
3. Widen your child's horizons with visits to the airport, the docks, the courthouse, the museum, a historic landmark, a factory, a newspaper or whatever is available in your community. Some television stations and local newspapers schedule guided tours.
4. On trips, provide your youngster with notebooks and pencils. Encourage the child to draw pictures and make notes of things of interest along the way. Help with the collection of samples to take back to the classroom.
5. Map puzzles are good "learn as you play" items for youngsters. Distinctive shapes of states, countries, and continents form pictures in the child's mind to help your child learn and remember.
6. Discuss the world of work with your child, including the demands of various jobs and professions and the work and training necessary to qualify. Stress the idea that training can begin at an early age and that attention to school work is vital for future success. Feel out notions about future career plans, including personal preferences, inclinations and natural skills.
7. Teach your child the importance of being a good citizen by discussing at the dinner table local candidates for public office, issues and problems of the community. Help with the judgment of each person individually rather than by race, creed, or color, by curbing unthinking remarks about others. Give books that reflect the diversity of American culture. Don't be afraid to guide talk with your teenagers into the fascinating realm of ideas. Junior high and high school students love "bull sessions" on serious topics.
8. REMEMBER! Listen with interest, encourage and ask questions, be generous with praise, enthusiasm and sympathy. You can bridge the gap between home and school and make learning fun for both you and your child.

1. Stimulate your child to make use of all senses in discovering the surrounding world. Encourage curiosity about the feel of textures and materials, characteristic smells, sounds, tastes, weights and sizes of things. Train the child to look carefully and to see beyond the surface appearance of the environment.
   
   
2. Children are normally curious and should be encouraged to find answers to questions by patient observation and through the use of references, either at home or in libraries and museums. Let the child manipulate and learn about familiar objects: a dripping faucet, the household water system, a nutcracker, an old doorbell, discarded appliances, locks and door hinges, household plants and gardens. When making household repairs, servicing the family car or other domestic equipment, include your child as an observer. Natural scientific and mechanical skills can be discovered and developed in this way, and many scientific principles can be demonstrated in firsthand and practical ways.
   
   
3. Make certain that you teach your child rules of safety in the handling of electrical, mechanical and chemical equipment. In this modern scientific era, a whole range of educationally approved toys and games are on sale for gift-giving to the budding young scientist in your home. Consider giving a subscription to a scientific magazine, an easy-to-assemble radio earphone set, a general science kit, an ant farm or toy farm that grows real crops, binoculars, an aquarium or terrarium, a chemistry set, a model airplane, a biography of an inventor, a microscope, a telescope or a magnifying glass.
   
   
4. Work with your child on projects such as making bird feeders, caring for pets, setting up a home weather station, observing the night sky and preparing a family vegetable or flower garden. Take the opportunity to confer with the child's science teachers. They welcome such parental interest and can give many useful tips to help you reinforce your child's formal science training.
   
   
5. Encourage your child to be a "collector." Provide a place for collections, even if it is just a dresser drawer, a soapbox, or a shelf in the bookcase. An upended orange crate provides shelves for "display'' of rocks, insects, leaves, stamps, shells. A dime-store picture frame can display summer collections of flowers, leaves or even insects.
   
   
6. REMEMBER! Listen with interest, encourage and ask questions, be generous with praise, enthusiasm and sympathy. You can bridge the gap between home and school and make learning fun for both you and your child.
   

1. Give your child practical experience using math at home. Mention the size of containers, such as pints of cream and half gallons of milk. Encourage help when you bake, lay carpet or tile, or seed or fertilize the lawn and allow your child to actually measure ingredients, areas or quantities of material. Use the metric system of measurement to increase the child's knowledge of and proficiency in the use of the metric system.
   
   
2. Before a shopping trip, have your child read newspaper ads and price the cost of items to be purchased. Encourage comparison of prices and quantities marked on containers to determine the best buys. Allow the child to purchase an item and figure out the change to be received. Other ways to help children apply their growing knowledge of mathematics to practical situations are: letting them double check the addition on grocery tapes, manage allowance, read thermometers, barometers or even stop watches. Let them calculate age, weight, height and dimensions, or figure gas purchases and mileage, tolls and other trip expenses. Encourage again the use of the metric system.
   
   
3. Bingo, dominoes, toy telephones, card games, board games, calendars and clocks with large numbers all can help familiarize your child with the world of numbers.
   
   
4. Put your preschool child's counting ability to work. In preparation for meals, let the child count out forks for the table, dinner napkins, pieces of cake, or any other quantity.
   
   
5. If your child is having difficulty with multiplication tables, buy or make flash cards and use them on a regular basis. Children will enjoy giving answers they know and will learn more complex problems through drill. Let your child explain the math papers brought home from school, and take time to help with correction and understanding of mistakes.
   
   
6. Above all ask and listen to your child's daily experiences. Communication is the key to successful learning.

REMEMBER! Listen with interest, encourage and ask questions, be generous with praise, enthusiasm and sympathy. You can bridge the gap between home and school and make learning fun for both you and your child.

Here is some helpful information on how to make back-to-school time go smoothly for the entire family.

• Health and good taste can go together when packing a school lunch.
  
• Nurture the "learning instinct" in children.
  
• Precautions help ensure children's health and safety.
  
• Cultivate cultural arts at home.
  
• Bus safety tips offered to protect student riders.
  
• School should be top priority for working students.
  
• Find inexpensive ways to make your child feel special.
  
• Parent-child activities offer fun ways to learn math.
  
• Good study habits can help in the world of work.